(Verse 1)
I’m a product of never taking the safe route
On the outside still looking for a way out
Of my own mind, if I only had the will ta
My circle of friends is bigger but none look familiar
Finds it harder to keep his passion to live
When most people his age are getting married with kids
Knowing very well it’s no one else’s but his own fault
Don’t wanna 30 years old with nothing to show for it
My worst self is what I’ve gotten to see
Nobody expects nothing from me, not even me (Damn)
Ungrateful I only want what I ain’t got
I’m high off pot still stuck in the same spot
Replaced love with a yearning for rough drugs
Buzzed out of touch with the person he once was
Isolated, sleepless nights within the basement
Decided to write statements of his life inside these pages
Armed with nothing but his reputation and his name
His love for this game, his desperation, and his pain
Pursued his dream and vowed to stop never
But things always got worse before they got better
(Chorus)
Save Me, from myself
Cause its so hard to deal when all these scars unhealed bring out the worst in me
I need help
To break free, from this shell
And all these wall I’ve built around my flaws and guilt and insecurities
I need help
(Verse 2)
He met her the first night through his sisters
They talked about the stars, life, and existence
Thinking to himself she could be his mistress
And check that long list of unfinished wishes
Cause he’s a virgin but too scared to admit it
Probably thought if he told her she’d assume that he’s kidding
As he proceeded then to lust for this girls touch
Not knowing that she would then be his first love
Months flew by before she stopped dating him
Not knowing that that whole time she was saving him
Awfully sad after her Father had passed
He drove her away tryna give her all that he had
Years passed by his blunted red eyes
Still after all of this time he doesn’t understand why
Tried reaching out but was refused and declined
And saw it as an excuse to use another time
Moving on but the problem wasn’t done
When his tolerance, accomplishments, and confidence is none
The way he feels is like she left him for dead
Still the only woman who has ever slept in his bed
Left with no explanation, no closure at all
Damn, I guess that he needed her more than he thought
So he hides out from the world with a stare
Thinking if he disappeared that nobody would care
To the point where his parents can’t get through to him
Found his pills stashed and embarrassed that he’s using them
Back to living in his own irrelevantness
To tell the truth he’s been tryna numb himself ever since
He wants a second chance so he could feel hope again
Like maybe if he hurt himself that she would notice him
But he would never so now he just stays high
Saying he’s fine convincing himself of the same lies
(Chorus)
Save Me, from myself
Cause its so hard to deal when all these scars unhealed bring out the worst in me
I need help
To break free, from this shell
And all these wall I’ve built around my flaws and guilt and insecurities
I need help
(Verse 3)
Stayed clean through stamina withdrawals
In life you gotta lose battles to win wars
Could’ve used love or a hug from a friend
Used to use drugs till the drugs used him
Which all stems from heartbreak undoubtedly
Ironically love sucks the life out of me
Self hatful exhausted thoughts
Tryna follow all these astrology charts, he’s lost
Suicidal wasn’t tryna get props
But found God accidentally through his Hip Hop
Took the final call of action to get up
Went from rhymin’ from the heart to rappin’ from the gut
Read the Quran, Bible, and Bagavad Gita
Surrendered and accepted God as my leader
Cause I’m alive so I held my head to pray
Asking God everyday to tell me what to say
Stray ways from the devil instead
And use your words to ensure God’s message is spread
Cause the soul lives on I swear
So I wrote songs so even when I’m gone, I’m here
Yeah
Stray ways from the devil instead
And use your words to ensure God’s message is spread
Cause the soul lives on I swear
So I wrote songs so even when I’m gone, I’m here
(Chorus)
Saved Me, from myself
As my heart of steel let down its guard to heal and then reverse the bleeding in me
Now I break free, from this shell
Cause all these walls I’ve built around my flaws and guilt are now just words to me
I feel free
Longtime Style P collaborator Fortes serves up instrumental versions of eight of his productions for the New York rapper. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 22, 2020
